movie and a little of this... a little of that...

11:07 AM
today as i was watching this one movie, it makes me think. seriously thinking about my life, i never thought of it actually. although it something that will happen to any of us, sooner or later. happen to whoever really important in our life.have you guys watch P/s I Love You?

its a romantic movie. u can say im all little gloomy hearty here and there today, but its in everyone's heart, just in a matter if they allowed others to see or if others can see through the way they show it ?

its a movie about two loving couple who completed each other. before they could really happily and satisfying each other, the man died. and yet even with all the smiley face and laughter around her siblings, the wife is still human. still soft at heart. and still missing his present in her life. still missing him. she wont go out or others, until one day, her mom and her friends would like to throw a surprise party for her 30th bday party. and guess what? thats not the only surprise she get that day. she also received present from her beloved one. Her dead husband. apparently, in some sort of ways, the husband know that he's going to die and have left some sort of present for her. he give her birthday cake with a recorder. and through that, he ask her to follow every little thing he said. there will be letters all week that she must follow. he's not actually asked her to not to forget him. but actually he's teaching her to let him go and move on with her life. its a very sweet story. You guys should see it for urself if u wanna know what i mean. it cant be describe in words as i am not good to prescribe beautiful and even nice word to read.

This movie reminds me about a lot of things.

first of all, my family. My mummy and daddy to be exact. if one day i woke up and knowing that i will not seeing them anymore? its frightening me for just thinking about it. i know... the time will come. sooner.. or later, but i was thinking. can i handle it ? can i face the truth ? can i live the life just the same?

wake every morning to see my mum and dad, go to work, eat with them, hang out with them.. what if one day i woke up and there goes nothing (if u know what i mean)?

mummy, daddy... as a child, sorry has been the toughest word for me to said. sorry for being rude. sorry for being clumsy. sorry for not being there when u need me. sorry for everything that im not suppose to done but i still do it. sorry for not being the best child. sorry for not having things in ur way. sorry for every words and actions that i make that make u angry, sad or any feelings that can make u think im not the best.

i can thank you guys for everything. for giving me birth, for giving me life, for giving me education, for giving me a place to stay, a food to eat, a water to drink, a cloth to wear. i could thank you guys for every single little thing but i don't know if i can make it up for you. i don't know if i can succeed in life. i don't know if i can make you guys happy. i don't know if i can take care of you guys just how much you take care of me or more.. i don't know if i can be good enough to have a child and to educate them just how you educate me. just to think about it make me scared to death. makes me think that im not ready for anything. makes me feel like i wanna be daddy's little girl again. but i cant. time pass by, not waiting for anyone. i need to grow up. i need to face the truth. i need... my family.

Then, I was thinking about my ex, we’re been knowing each other for life, we’ve been friends and then become couples. It’s a long time to spend together. Almost five years, I’ve used of being together with him, seeing him everyday, hearing his voice every morning and night.

Then, something happen that both of us didn’t realize its coming. We’ve been blind by our own feelings that we tend to forget about others. I don’t know what have we that makes people seems jealous just by seeing us. And why do people keep talking bout us behind our back and tend to talk something that not only making us hurt, but people who we love most, our family and friends. Yes people, we always try to avoid these kind of people or sometime we just simply said that one day, when they get tired, they’ll stop talking.

But im afraid that that particular day that they stop talking is the worst day of me and my ex.

I know you and you and you and you been reading my blog all this while, and I hope you happy for what you have reach today. You make my family and his family turn against each other. Whats the point? Its tickle you is it ? its fun to see other people misery and hurt. I still don’t understand and don’t expect me to be. I still talk to you whenever you want and especially when you need my help. I still help you eventhough what you have done. I keep on smiling.

Me and my ex.. we keep on smiling. We’ve been friend, couple and now our friendship is stronger than ever. Thanks to you.

Maybe you just never felt of lose. Losing the fight or losing someone you really care off. One day you will, and when that time come, don’t expect me to say something nice. I will be there to hear your problem. But I wont promise that I’ll help you. You have to help yourself overcome your attitude. After you done with it.. then you wont have to asked me to be there. I will….

For now, just give me time, time to forgive. And time to heal. its easy to forgive but not forget. Remember ?

Its not easy to forgive the things you’ve done. If its only bout me, maybe I can forgive you in a snap. But this time around, you hurt me, him, and especially my family and his.

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